Dictum philosophy o1/o2

So, we come to the serious task of philosophical interpretation. Not since Ghandi, The Dalai Lama and Elvis Presley got together for a drink and a quick game of cards have such momentous thoughts been pondered by the ilk of man. Hopefully this will, unlike that day of fate, hue and cry- not result in a bar fight, two restraining orders and the early demise of the all-you can eat burger buffet.

I will try, in this, to embody the spirit of careful thought and consideration I know was forthcoming from all who partook. I am sure many agonised over the pros and cons of each pronouncement, looking to your innermost feelings and most profound thoughts for answers. I do wish to remind all that our interpretations must and will evolve as new votes affect them. We are by no means yet able to make unequivocal pronouncements.

What I must note first of all, over the two votes, was the importance of sex. I do not mean in the discrimination/ glass ceiling/ litigation sort of way but rather in the getting-sweaty rolling around on the ground athletic manner. It is, therefore our first subject matter to tackle.

We philosophers, in amatters alluding to sex, have pronounced to be truths the following:

Resounding yes: Good sex is like good bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand. Mae West

Resounding yes:From birth to age 18 a girl needs good parents. From 18 to 35 she needs good looks. From 35 to 55 she needs a good personality. From 55 on she needs cash. Sophie Tucker. Singer.

Big yes: Modern Art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves they have a better idea. John Ciardi.

Mild yes:To err* is human, but it feels divine. Mae West. Actress. (*make mistakes)

Mild yes: It’s not the [wo]men in my life that count, it’s the life in my [wo]men. Mae West.

The Interpretation. From this we may garner that, in matters of sex and the act of love:

a skilled partner is paramount and possibly irreplacable so is to be adored;
that attractiveness is key, no matter what people wish to say publicly;
that lively behaviour is encouraged and can, on good days, make up for deficiencies in attractiveness;
and that waking up and realising we have been really rather bad the night before is, on balance, a positive rather than negative thing.

We philosophers, in matters of relationships, have pronounced to be truths the following:

Resounding yes: Instead of loving your enemies treat your friends a little better. E.W. Howe. Novelist.

Resounding yes: From birth to age 18 a girl needs good parents. From 18 to 35 she needs good looks. From 35 to 55 she needs a good personality. From 55 on she needs cash. Sophie Tucker. Singer.

Resounding yes: Parents are sometimes a bit of a disappointment to their children. They don’t fulfil the promise of their early years. Anthony Powell. Poet.

Big Yes: Teetotallers lack the sympathy and generosity of men that drink. W.H. Davies. Poet.

Big yes: A diplomat (or gentleman) is a man who always remembers a womans’ birthday but never remembers her age. Robert frost. Poet.

Mild yes: It’s not the [wo]men in my life that count, it’s the life in my [wo]men. Mae West.

The Interpretation. From the above we may glean that, in the matter of relationships:

parents could really do with some sort of training course and continued assessment;
that, without doubt, a pretty woman has until 35 to learn to become fun and until 55 to become smart;
that we must, every day, avoid worrying about enemies and concentrate on the well being of our friends;
that we prefer, as those friends, a person who imbibes a little alcohol to smooth the rough edges and by inferrence, we like to imbibe ourselves to make the sharp corners of the world more fuzzy;
that we like, from our friends, a large dollop of sympathy and them to oft pick up the check;
that we like tact, and charm from our friends to add to the generosity and sympathy and that they are also required to tell us lies where they feel it is in our best interests;
and that more often than not we wish for lively friends, but not always.

There are some other matters dealt with in the results but they will be better represented when fleshed out by additional votes, so are left for the moment.

And so our new philosophy, one free of the rantings of ancient men in white beards, begins…